I long for love, loving together with someone, happy times, fighting tims, all times. Just someone to share life with in a truthfull way. Be myself and still be apreciated as I am, is that to much to ask for? 

Today I realized that I had fallen in love from a distance, long time ago since that happen, but then here we go again as a child that does not really dare to be upfront with the girl he really cares for and yes in many ways I’m returning to my childhood, beeing more vunerable and carefull about my heart knowing that I am a sensitive man that would really hurt by not getting the repsonse that my heart is longing for. 

Is it wrong to be that carefull and afraid to “jump on” and tell what I want in that relationship? Sometimes I feel more like a woman then a man.

I don’t really know who I am anymore, so much has happend inside lately and I’m not the person I used to know. Stopping the abuse of psyko drugs has really turned me inside out and shock me up. I might find a hole new person, hopefully someone I can live with.

4 weeks of sickness now and still the day seams to go away without me being in it. Is this life?

I can not get it anymore, seams like a waste of time. 

Pretty sad post this time, that how is is. Take care everybody.